Alice's NotSoSecret Diary
by Dysfunctional Death Angel
Summary: <html><head></head>Alice the Bloody Black Rabbit, writes in a "secret" diary and doesn't care who knows. Read up on her adventures as she rants about Sharon, Oz, Gilbert and Break. Slightly Brelice...if you squint...because I love him so much. So there. T cause I said so.</html>


Alice's (B- Rabbit's) Diary

_Whoot! I'm back and so is Alice! yup, we're back. Here for your enjoyment is Alice's NotSoSecret Dairy. _

_Hello again people of the internet who made thier way to this story. **This** is Alice's diary and I wrote this one. I mean not the characters but the other stuff. And yeas I **know** that not all of the events are in order as they happened in the original story. I'm farther ahead than my friend/co-author and so it ended up her writhing about things that I did not and we just needed the days to match. And YES, I realize that both Alice and Break may be acting slightly oc, but oh well, I, the great Alice-sama, love Breaky-poo very very much and can make him however I want. DEAL WITH IT PEOPLE! Still don't own this stuff...damn. _

Day 1:

I have successfully beaten that stupid Seaweed Head at a game. After losing he tried to claim it was just meaningless but I know he hates losing, especially to me, the great Alice-sama. And despite his constant swaying otherwise, I DID NOT try to kill Oz, my manservant. Ni kind of need him alive so that I can continue to look for my memories in the human world. So there Seaweed Head. It's so easy to make him all pissy. It's so much fun!

Day 2

Today my very first sentence of the day was "Morning Seaweed Head". It even got the desired effect of making his face turn red with anger and him yell about going to kill me. Ha! What fun! Every day should be like this.

Day 3:

Ugh! That stupid Seaweed Head! How could he be that mean? He with held meat from _me_! The great Alice-sama! Fresh cooked, delicious, juicy meat! What a cheapo. That guy really pisses me off. HE should learn to obey the master of his master (Which is me). Such a fool he is! I'll show him what happens when you mess with the Bloody Black Rabbit!

Day 4:

Hahaha! The great Alice-sama has begun to prove her point! I have begun to extract my revenge on Gilbert Nightray (A.K.A. Seaweed Head). It's the small little bits of revenge that lead up to the big revenge. I'm so relentless I love it. Like today Gil kept dropping his papers and I couldn't just let the incident go without passing, it was just too great! I can see how this would drive him insane and I think next time I'll have to find a cat and bring it back with me to his house. I believe that I heard he's afraid of cats from Oz. Oh this is going to be good. Torturing him is much too much fun, some would call it unhealthy but I think its fun. I wonder if others enjoy it as much as I do? "Uncle" Oscar seems to and I think Break finds it fun as well, if not to the same extent. I hope it makes him miserable, he deserves it for being so stupid, we all know it. Also, we went into town and people actually thought I was that idiot's SISTER! Can you believe that nonsense! I mean really, we look nothing alike!

Day 6:

Oz left me here! He went out with Seaweed Head hunting down illegal contractors and my memory fragments and left me here! They're MY memories for Intention's sake! All he left me to know about it was a stupid note. He should know by now that the B-Rabbit doesn't read meaningless notes if she doesn't have to. Also that stupid chain they were chasing CRASHED THROUGH MY WALL! It could have killed me! And that stupid clown didn't do anything! Nobody did anything! Then Seaweed Head stuck me in a room with that stupid clown. I couldn't stand breathing the same air as that idiot so I summoned my powers and crushed the house to escape. Pretty clever if I say so myself. Then Seaweed Head and I teamed up to destroy the stupid evil that is the damned clown. He just skipped around in circles but we could never hurt him. Ugh what a useless idiot! He just sits around in that mansion eating sweets and probably chasing after girls! Ugh he pisses me off! Ooooohhh…. Is that meat I smell?

Day 7:

I thoroughly, undeniably, without a doubt, painstakingly HATE Xerxes Break! That man is insane, positively insane. How can Sharon stand him? That girl's lost it too. Why is nobody here sane? Of all the people to make a contract with I had to get stuck with the one with the lame friends. He told me that because flowers smelled good, you can eat them! How was I, a chain, to know I couldn't eat them? Then Seaweed head found out and told me that I was stupid. That damn Break! I'd certainly like to break his stupid face!

Day 8:

Is stealing wrong? The man was saying some not very nice things and Oz did tell me to run fast and not straight home. Oh but it taste so good. And the look on Seaweed head's face was priceless! And when I showed him that cat it was even funnier. Though Oz did give me a light scolding. And that damned clown compared me and Seaweed head to a married couple! That's disgusting, who would want to marry a guy with seaweed for hair!

Day 9:

that idiot Seaweed Head can't even control the papers on his desk and he thinks that he can control ME? The great Alice-sama is just too amazing to be controlled by that idiot!

Day 10:

I was told that tomorrow is Valentine's Day. When I asked about it, I was told by Sharon that it's a day dedicated to love and couples. To me it sounded like a way for the government to weed out the weak. If the point of the day is to be in love and in a relationship, then you should take the day as a chance to be in one. Then if you aren't you could go spiraling into depression and commit suicide. That way the government can weed out the weak without having to call attention to themselves. Ha! You know I must be right, other wise why would the dumb day exist!

Day 11:

Today is the government conspiracy day: Valentine's Day. I also discovered it was the day that the very useless "Misa-Misa" dies. She was even more useless than Sharon. And that's really saying something. We were sucked in Cheshire's dimension also today. Cheshire's a weirdo. And that stupid seaweed head just stood there like an idiot because the idiot's scared of cats. And somehow he didn't know that "Cheshire" meant the Cheshire Cat from the books named after _ME_. What an idiot. I was without my normal manservant for the time being in the other dimension so I decided that Seaweed Head would be my temporary manservant. He refused and ran so I tried talking the clown into the position. He also refused and that made me angry. The dang clown is so infuriating! I'm going to kill them when we get back home!

Day 12

Today I decided to take a day off of beating on Seaweed Head to make fun of and annoy greatly the Clown, other wise known as Xerxes Break. Put simply he is an idiot who appears out of nowhere. His stupid, creepy doll that he carries around all day is just disturbing! Only little kids should carry around dolls. I made fun of every possible thing there was to make fun of with that dang clown and he never once even slightly became infuriated with me! That in itself was infuriating. UGH! I'M GOING BACK TO MAKE FUNOF SEAWEED HEAD!

Day 13

I found another girl today that also enjoyed annoying Seaweed head. It was so much fun to simply sit and annoy him. He he he he got so angry. Also today I was able to tell the authorities that this weird boy was bugging me. Seaweed head tried to tell them that I was just delusional and the boy wasn't doing anything but talking to me for a few minutes but they didn't believe him in the least. Is was really fun. I also got some meat out of the deal since the police thought that Seaweed head was starving me since I am so small. Also, as I was heading to my room for the night Seaweed Head said "Goodnight Alice" instead of chain or b rabbit or any of his other ill-thought up insults. When I called him on it he looked so embarrassed I couldn't help but laugh. I must look so smug right now but I can't help it, he called me Alice, like, by my name! I win! I win! I win!

Day 14

Today I brought a cat to Seaweed Head's room and held it right outside the door. He screamed and closed the door and I laughed as he muttered to himself all the while. Ha ha ha! I win again! Seaweed Head made lunch and it was a rather good soup with some kind of meat in it! I got around his stupid "no meat" rule. I'm just that amazing. IT WAS RABBIT STEW! I mean who does he think he is! I can't believe he would do that to me just to get back at me for a cat! Oh great, now my tears are making the paper wet and the ink keeps running. Then he decided to be "chivalrous" and apologize, but I wanted no part of that! The Stupid Servant made me a CANNIBAL! A CANNIBAL! HOW DARE HE! So I simply tried to, once again, kill him. He deserved it.

Day 15

Today seaweed head apologized for making me a cannibal yesterday. I smiled sweetly and decided to go after him with the intention to kill him while I was laughing. I thought it was fun, but I guess Seaweed Heads too stupid to realize that it was fun. After that was all over and settled down, I decided that I was going to snoop through the "private" papers Seaweed Head had on his desk. It didn't quite get the angry reaction I wanted so I gave up and left.

Day 16

Stupid Sharon found was showing me her book where it had a picture of people kissing. When I told her that oz and I had already done that she chased him all over the place calling him a monster. I thought it was funny, everyone else but the clown did not. Humph.

Day 17

Today I have decided to destroy the house! Then maybe we don't have to stay with Seaweed Head and the clown any more. That dang Seaweed Head figured it out and told Oz so now I've been confined to my room for awhile. Humph! Also, I got invited to work at a meat factory! YAY MEAT!

Day 18

THOSE STUPID PEOPLE FIRED ME! HOW WAS I SUPPOST TO KNOW THAT YOU COULDN'T EAT THE MEAT!

Day 19

There's a circus in town! I really want to go but apparently no one else has heard about it. When I brought it up Seaweed Head said that I can only go if I break the contract with my manservant Oz. How is that fair! I wanted to take Seaweed head because I think he'd fit right in with all the performers and freaks. I also stole his journal and wrote in it about how he's a loser with a cat-phobia. What a loser. Heh heh heh!

Day 20

Nothing to do! Did you know you can eat snow? It's just frozen water.

Day 21

Today I snuck out at like 3 in the morning to go on an adventure with the clown. He had decided to take me up to the country side on an "adventure". I agreed simply because if I hadn't he just keep pestering me all day. Ugh, I hate to admit that it was actually kind of fun! He took me in a carriage that went into town and he forced me to the dress maker so that I could look like a "proper" lady for the day. It was no fun. But I did get to pick a rather cool blue and black dress and he payed of it all. Then it was back into the carriage for a few hours so that we could make it to some really old castle/mansion thing. It turned out that the mansion was where his first master lived and was killed at. They had all been buried in the spacious garden. It was actually a really picturesque scene. Out of nowhere the clown brought out some really pretty flowers and for once he wasn't smiling. He looked really sad. He placed a single rose on each grave and stood in front of the one that seemed to belong to his master. He looked so...broken. Before I could think of what I was doing, I stepped forward and laced my fingers through his and smiled softly at him. He looked up at me with a single grateful red eye and squeezed my hand. I began to realize just how much of his bubbly, sugar-loving self is fake. The ride home was pretty much silent and neither of us spoke more than necessary. When ever my mind thinks back to the events at the mansion I feel my cheeks burn with color. WAH! I can't believe I did that! But...something about it just felt right. You know, that someone would miss you if you were gone. Oh no, what am I saying! This is the clown we're taking about! Xerxes Break...who are you really...

Day 22

Today there was a TON of snow outside. Since break told me that if it was snowing it must be summer, I dressed in the summer clothes Sharon had given me and went outside. IT WAS REALLY REALLY COLD! STUPID BREAK TOLD ME THAT IT WAS SUMMER! Only after the fact did Oz tell me that it was WINTER and that you'll get sick from going out in the cold too much. And right when I was actually starting to be nice to that dang clown!

Day 23

Break finally decided to tell us some of his past and about a lot of the things he knew about what all was going on. Then the idiot seaweed head and break started arguing about who was taller by .5 of a freakin' CENIMETER! It's not like anyone even cares! I certainly don't!

Day 24

I was in the town "borrowing" the answers to some rather important questions when Seaweed head tried to copy them from me. So I told him: "I'm a stupid rabbit, remember?" and he left me alone and started muttering to himself about how annoying I am. He he I win again.

_You know, I think I'm gonna update these things in sections of ten days at a time...yeah, I'll just do that. Until next time people... Lol I'm so lazy with these things now since we've been writing cross-over-y goodness. Hurray! _


End file.
